


Mother

by normski_reedenstein



Series: You Are Mine [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad News, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Haircuts, Mentions of Cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-01 08:44:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17241125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/normski_reedenstein/pseuds/normski_reedenstein
Summary: Time jump! This is taking place about two years in the future now. I apologize in advance for any feelings I might hurt.Back to plots.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Time jump! This is taking place about two years in the future now. I apologize in advance for any feelings I might hurt. 
> 
> Back to plots.

I let an arm hang out the car window as I drove down the road with my music playing loudly. It was a nice day, a small break in the weather from the two straight weeks of non stop rain we had gotten. I could finally wear capris and no jacket without worrying about getting soaked. I had just left the doctors office and I was making my way over to Frigga’s house for lunch. While Loki was at work, she decided to have Jane and I over for the afternoon. With the others busy, it was the perfect opportunity to have a girls day. A nice day of drinks, sandwiches and bonding was just what I needed. I made it to the house before Jane and went inside. The front door was always unlocked and like usual, everyone was allowed to just stroll in and get comfortable. I walked in, kicked off my shoes and made my way to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of juice.

“Hey, Frigga!” I called out.

No response. It was oddly quiet I realized then. She would have let me know if she left the house for a minute. I called her name again as I made my way to the dining room and then the living room. I heard a faint sound from the nearby bathroom then. It sounded strangled almost. Following the sound, I approached the bathroom door which was cracked open enough to let the light from inside shine out. As I raised my hand to knock, I heard the telltale noise of someone retching into the toilet. I nudged the door open wider and saw Frigga kneeling by the toilet, her face broken out in sweat and her eyes watering from vomiting. She placed a washcloth against her mouth as she flushed the toilet. 

"Frigga?" I stood in shock.

"Hi, darling. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in." 

Frigga pushed herself to her feet, wavering slightly before I caught her. She sighed and smiled as if I hadn't just watched her get sick just a few seconds ago. 

"Are you okay?" 

After swishing some water and wiping the sweat from her face, she looked at me and her usual zany attitude wasn't so evident then. I could tell she didn't want to answer truthfully but she had no choice. Wrapping an arm around me, we left the bathroom. 

"Lets talk." 

 

I stared blankly at Frigga as she went about preparing lunch, not once breaking stride or faltering in conversation. My appetite had long since ran away once she told me her news. In fact, I felt like taking her place in the bathroom now.

"You're sure?" I asked. I refused to believe it. 

"Unfortunately. I had to restart my chemo last month after they discovered the cancer had recurred. It's called partial remission. All the cells weren't completely gone but they got enough of it to ensure it wouldn't come back any time soon. I'd say three years is quite good." 

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. This had to be a bad dream. I had so many questions but one seemed more important than anything else at the moment. 

"The boys know, right?" 

That gave her pause and that alone told me all I needed to know before she opened her mouth. "I'm going to tell them soon." 

I groaned. "Please don't tell me I'm the only one who knows." More silence. "Oh fuck, Frigga. I'm the _only_ one?" 

"Besides a close friend of mine, yes. I'm sorry, dear." 

"Would you have told any of us this had I not walked in on you today?" 

"...Eventually." 

"You know I can't keep this from Loki." 

That was the first time I saw genuine fear in her crystal blue eyes as she stopped making lunch and rounded the kitchen island to where I sat. She grabbed my shoulders with a firm grip and looked me square in the face. 

"You cannot tell him, Ashley. Swear to me." 

I guess on some level I understood why she wanted to tell the others on her own time. It was her news to tell and maybe she wasn't quite ready. It still felt wrong to be the only one in the know though. Loki and I never kept things from each other and for the first time since the beginning of our relationship I had no choice but to keep the biggest, most agonizing secret about his own fucking mother away from him. My heart hurt just thinking about it. 

"Okay. I swear." 

Frigga visibly relaxed. The front door opened and Jane announced herself as she came in. In an instant, it was as if nothing happened. Frigga was smiling wide and cheerful as she called for Jane to come to the kitchen. I noticed the fleeting look she gave me as she went back to making lunch. I don't know if I could handle anymore mercurial behavior.

 

It was hard to enjoy the afternoon after that. She and Jane would be laughing at a story being told and I would just catch the end and fake my own laughter. When I left, Frigga just hugged me and apologized for making me keep her secret. I hardly paid attention to anything on the drive home. I almost blew through a couple red lights, barely missed cutting off another driver. Guilt was already cutting at me. Loki was making dinner when I walked in. He kissed me hello and kept trying to engage in conversation but I was so far gone I only snapped back to reality because he clapped his hands in front of my face. 

"What's with you? Are you alright?" 

He could always read me so well. Would he figure everything out just from looking at me? I felt like it was literally written on my face. 

_Goddammit, Frigga._  

"I'm fine. Just thinking about something." 

"What is it?" 

"Nothing important." I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Just...you." 

Wasn't a total lie. Loki smiled at me and kissed my forehead. 

"I almost don't believe you but I am going to take your word for it. Sit down. Dinner is done." 

I did as I was told, dreading having to force myself to choke down more food. My stomach already had a stabbing pain from earlier. But I made myself smile, sit and pretend to enjoy dinner with my boyfriend hoping that I could keep this weight in my chest from crushing him even though I knew it would eventually. 

 

I expected to feel better a couple days later when Loki told me Frigga had invited us, Thor and Jane over Friday night. 

"She didn't say why." 

I nodded but kept my mouth shut. I was happy that she was sparing me and herself by telling them so soon but it also made me nervous. The only thing that was scaring me  more than Loki finding out his mother was sick again was that I knew and never told him regardless of if I had to keep it secret or not. I wasn't ready for him to know. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to face Loki's anger and hurt. Either way, I couldn't prepare myself and Friday came around entirely too soon.   

 


	2. Chapter 2

Everything was fine at first. Frigga made dinner for us all and afterwards we had dessert. I tried not to focus on my anxiety or look at Frigga too much for fear that my face would give away everything. She would occasionally wink at me or take my hand and give a reassuring squeeze, her nonverbal way of telling me to relax. We migrated to the living room to get comfortable and that's when she decided to break the news.  

"So there's a reason I invited you all here tonight, not just for dinner," Frigga started. She fidgeted with her hands in her lap. "I have some news to share." 

"Good news I hope. After that dinner, good news would top it off," Thor said with a smile. 

My heart picked up speed. These poor boys. 

Frigga smiled weakly. "I'm afraid not, dear. I've been trying to figure out the right time for the last month to tell you... I'm sick again." 

The room fell dead silent. Thor's smile slipped from his face and I felt Loki tense as he sat forward like he misheard his mother. Jane just looked sad as she touched her husband's leg. 

"Your cancer is back?" Thor asked. 

"They found some cells when I went to my last checkup. I was ordered to start chemotherapy as soon as I possibly could."  

Thor rubbed his hands over his face and he suddenly looked like he aged.

"You've known this for a month and didn't tell us sooner?" Loki asked, his tone accusing. 

"Darling, I wanted to tell you sooner. I was scared. You both were so hurt when I was first diagnosed. I didn't want to see that pain on your faces again." 

Loki shook his head and began wringing his hands. I knew him being upset was inevitable but I couldn't help seeing him getting angry at his mother. I took his hand in mine. 

"So you've been going at this alone then. We're your family, you know we would've come to your appointments with you," Jane said. 

"I know. And I haven't been totally alone. As much as it would have bothered me, I wanted to keep this to myself just a little longer. It was only because Ashley urged me to that I decided to tell you. I couldn't let her hold on to this for too long." 

"Wait," Loki stopped his mother and looked at me, his brow creased. "You knew about this?" 

Now his accusatory tone was being aimed at me and the hurt I didn't want to see was painted on his face. 

"She didn't intend to, Lo. When she came over for lunch she saw me getting sick. I had to tell her. And I made her promise not to say anything." 

"Were you ever going to be honest with us about any of this?" 

"Of course I was, darling." 

"Loki, don't get mad," I said, trying to diffuse his anger.

He pulled his hand from my own a bit too harshly. "And _you_. You should have told me." 

"It wasn't my place! I wanted to, Loki, I swear to God I did. It was eating at me but it was your mother's place to tell you, not mine." 

Loki stood up and looked between myself and Frigga, opening his mouth to say something more before he stormed off from the living room instead. He didn't look back at anyone, didn't offer an excuse. His anger was enough to convey what he wanted to say. 

"Sweetheart, don't leave please," Frigga begged. 

There was silence and then the front door slammed shut startling me slightly. So much for hoping he would take things better than we thought. 

"I'll got get him," I said as I stood. 

Thor blocked my path and put his hands on my shoulders. "Let him go. He'll come back, he just needs to be on his own." 

"But he needs to know I wasn't trying to hurt him!" Despite myself, my tone was frantic.

"Ashley, darling," Frigga took my hand. "He knows. Trust me. He's not angry at you or me, just the situation. You did nothing wrong." 

Even if that was true, I hated the thought of him being mad at me for essentially lying to him. I started to regret showing up to Frigga's house when I did that day. If I had only come just a few minutes later...  

 

 

After a couple hours, Loki never came back so Thor and Jane took me home. The car was there but his bike was gone. I should've guessed. He always said he thought more clearly on his bike. Thor walked me to the front door. 

"When do you think he'll come back?" I asked. 

I looked down at my phone knowing well that he wouldn't text me back after the multiple messages I sent him. 

"I can't say for sure but I know he will definitely come back home. He just needs to blow off steam. This happened when she first told us she was sick. He was gone for hours. We were both worried sick. But he came back when he was ready. I don't want you to worry, okay?" 

I scoffed and gave him a look. He gave me a half smile and hugged me to him. 

"I hate this. Why her?" My voice was muffled slightly from my face being in Thor's chest.

"Life has a cruel way of punishing innocent people. It's not fair, it's not right, but it happens. And if I know my mother, she's not letting this take over her body again without a fight. We just stay positive and be there to support her as well as each other. That's all we really can do." 

I nodded. "When did you get so wise?" 

"I'm not just good looks, honey." He smirked arrogantly.

Fighting a smile was futile. I was happy Thor was trying to make me feel better if only just a little bit. 

"Thanks for bringing me home. I'll let you know when he shows up." 

"Okay. Get some rest." 

Giving me a kiss on the forehead, Thor walked back towards his car. As I stepped inside our apartment, I leaned against the door frame with a heavy sigh. I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with Loki then and be there for him. We were both alone when we should've been together. It felt wrong. I made my way upstairs for a shower and changed into one of Loki's tee shirts before I slipped into bed and quietly watched TV. I had long since abandoned my phone on the nightstand knowing I wouldn't see a message from him. I was zoned out and almost drifting off to sleep when the door opening downstairs got my attention. After a minute, Loki finally stepped into the dim light of the bedroom. He didn't acknowledge me as he kicked off his boots, tossed his jacket on a nearby chair and set his phone, wallet and keys on the nightstand. I resigned to the fact that he would be giving me the silent treatment for the rest of the night. So why was I surprised when he crawled across the bed and laid his head in my lap? He wrapped his arms around my torso tightly. 

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. 

Loki stayed silent. I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed his scalp gently. I noticed him visibly tremble. The sharp inhale and sniffle that followed told me he was finally breaking down. I continued to play with his hair as he cried into my lap. All of a sudden I was seeing him as a sad little boy and my heart ripped in two. After all the times he comforted me and held me while I broke down, it was my turn to do the same for him. 

We stayed that way until Loki eventually nodded off. I kissed his face before I picked up my phone and texted Thor. 

**_'He's home.'_ **

After a minute, my phone chimed. 

 ** _'Good. Give him time to talk. Just be there for him.'_**  

I looked down at the tall man splayed across our bed, his sleeping form large but somehow small and innocent in this moment. I smiled. 

 ** _'Of course.'_ ** 

 

 

Morning came around and I woke up to an empty bed. Sitting up, I wiped the sleep from my eyes. The digital clock on the dresser read 9:20 am. Just then, Loki walked into the room, a towel wrapped tight around his waist and his hair heavy with water. He glanced at me as he stepped behind the door.

"Good morning," he said. 

"Morning. Sleep okay?" 

He took his towel off and dried his hair. "Just okay." 

I couldn't tell if he was still mad at me or if his clipped speech was just because it was morning. Remembering Thor's words from the night before, I decided to let Loki speak when he was ready. I got out of bed and prepared myself to go to the bathroom to start my usual morning routine. As I reached for my towel, Loki took it first and handed it to me. His face was expressionless. 

"Thank...you." 

"You know that I love you, right? More than anything." 

"I know," I said. It felt good to hear it, I don't know why. "I love you, too." 

Loki caressed my face and my eyes closed automatically. "I was hurt that you kept something like that from me but I understand you had to. For her." 

"I _wanted_ to tell you. I really did. That shit was gnawing at me from the second I left her house and it was killing me to have to keep it from you." 

"I know, baby. And it's okay. It's just hard to process this happening again." Loki pulled on his boxers and sat on the bed. "We knew her remission would only last so long but that doesn't make it any less shitty when it ends. We thought she was...This isn't supposed to happen to her, you know?" 

I stepped between Loki's legs and put my arms over his shoulders. "I know. But more than anything right now, she needs you and Thor to be there for her. You two are the most important people to her. She probably cares more about your love and support than the rest of us. Talk to her." 

Nodding his head, Loki gave me a solemn look before he pulled me close and buried his face in my shirt. It was the second time in hours that we sat in silence and just held one another.  He was being vulnerable with me, more so than usual it seemed. I found myself not wanting the moment to end. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Loki started spending more time with Frigga; Random visits to her house to check in on her, attending her chemo sessions, bringing her soups and ice cream. It was heartwarming seeing him being so attentive. After a few weeks, Frigga decided to cut her hair and have it donated before the radiation got to it too much. I admit it was weird seeing her sporting a pixie but it actually worked for her. It made the rest of us want to do something in solidarity with her. Frigga urged us not to change ourselves or do anything crazy on account of her being sick but it felt right. We wanted to show our love. 

One day, I was sitting at home reading when Loki came in. He had been off for a few hours with Thor looking for a present for Frigga. 

"Hey, baby," Loki said as he walked in. 

"Hey you." I was too invested in my book to look up for a second. "Get anything for your mom?" 

"I did. Want to see?" 

Placing my bookmark on my page, I set my book down and turned on the couch. I thought my eyes were going to pop out when I faced Loki. Gone were his once long and treasured locks of hair that graced his shoulders. Now it curled out just below his ears. It made him look about five years younger and with his piercings gone, he looked like a whole new person. 

"Holy shit, your hair!" I screeched. 

Loki blushed as he grinned at my reaction. I jumped over the back of the couch and stood on my tip toes to run my fingers through his new style. It was still soft as ever and black as night. 

"Do you like it?" He seemed nervous to ask. 

"Yes! I'm shocked that you even did this. It looks _so_ good."  

"Took a lot of motivation. Thor cut his as well." 

"What?!" 

Loki laughed. "We figured why should our mother be the only one changing her hair?" 

I kept running my fingers through his, too shocked to fully process such a drastic change. "This is so weird." 

"It's only hair. It grows back. I can support my mother's wish to help someone else struggling with cancer while showing that I'm with her through each step. Everybody wins." 

"Feeling quite generous lately I see. That's good."  

Shrugging, Loki pulled me into a hug. "Wouldn't have gotten up the courage to acknowledge this and talk to her had it not been for you." 

"You would have. I just gave you the nudge you needed." 

We stood in each other's embrace for a few silent seconds before Loki tipped my head back. 

"Have you decided what to do?" 

"Well you and your brother took the hair idea." 

"It's not too late to cut yours. I think you'd look cute with shorter hair to be honest." 

I picked up my hair by the ends and looked at it. It fell to the top of my back, just past my shoulders. I loved it at its current length. Growing it out this long took years and a part of me cringed at the thought of cutting it all off. 

_'It's only hair. It grows back.'_

Maybe a change wouldn't be so terrible. I considered doing something different with my hair on more than one occasion before. This was a good opportunity to do just that. 

* * *

 

My mom looked at me like I was crazy when I told her I was getting my hair cut. She nearly choked when I asked if she would be the one to do it. And to top it all off, when I told her how short I wanted it, I thought she would faint. Loki sat across from me in the kitchen smiling encouragingly as my mom sectioned off my hair and hesitantly cut each part, gasping and whining the entire time. I kept telling myself change was good. This was not only for Frigga but for me too. Once it was all done, Loki held up the mirror in front of my face. 

"Holy fuck," I muttered in shock. 

My once long hair was now a small afro. Once my mom washed it, my natural curls began to set in. 

"I can't believe you went through with this, baby girl. It looks good but... _oh my God!_ " Mom cupped her hands on either side of my head and rolled it from side to side examining my hair. 

"I know." I looked to Loki who was smiling brightly. "What do you think?" 

"Beautiful as ever." 

 

That night, we all went to Frigga's house. She nearly screamed when she saw Loki, Thor and I all cut our hair off for her. Thor looked even more handsome with his new cut if that was possible. His golden locks were replaced with a nice crew cut. He looked more rugged and older, a man commanding attention almost.

"You all look wonderful. This really wasn't necessary though, you all know that?" Frigga said. She took to my curls, playing with them absentmindedly. 

"We know. But we did anyway and I'm glad we did," Loki declared. "You're not the only one who looks good with short hair." 

"That is true. You three put me to shame." Her eyes glittered as she smiled. Even though she didn't want us changing for her, we did it out of love and I could tell it touched her regardless. "Thank you." 

"You know we're all here for you, Mom," Thor said as he pulled Frigga to him. 

Loki and I joined their hug as Frigga cried tears of happiness. 

"We love you, Frigga."

 


End file.
